Tomorrow is Duke & Duke's holiday party. Before I could even sit in my chair this morning the phone was ringing.
TURBO: AH....There you are.
ME: What can I do for you?
TURBO: Are you ready for the Holiday Party?
ME: Does the Pope wear a funny hat? I'm ready. Are you ready?
TURBO: Does Rose Kennedy wear a black dress? You bet your sweet ass I'm ready. I've been practicing my moves all week. I'm hoping to reach a new low.
TURBO: You wanna go together?
ME: Turbo, are you asking me on a date?
TURBO: No, asshole. Do you wanna hang out before hand, do some Jaegger Bombs and blaze a trail together? You know I don't like to roll to their functions solo.
ME: Wow, you really know how to flatter a girl. Are you afraid of HR after last year? I can't. I've got shit to do.
TURBO: I ain't afraid of nobody! Like what?
ME: You're afraid of HR-don't bullshit me. That lady has been gunnin' for you ever since last year. None of your business. Girls must have secrets.
TURBO: Fuck her. She'll change her tune after she sees my moves. Wait, when did you become such a PUSSY? What do you have to do? I don't even want to know. YOUR EXCUSES ARE YOUR OWN.
ME: Nice. I will see you there around 7. I have work to do. Later.
TURBO: You ain't got shit to do except reading ESPN.com.
ME: That's your opinion and you're entitled to it. Later.
TURBO: ( Hannibal Lecter voice) Run for the lambs Clarice.
I often wonder what we look like to other people when they see us bickering in a bar like an old married couple. I've spent way too much time with him over the last 5 years.