I have a question for all of you ladies out there. Boys free to answer this if you know the answer. Are there any women out there between the ages of 30-40 with a sense of humor and not uptight? I am specifically targeting the above 35 set. AE and Murray you are not included in that group- you two make me laugh all the time.
As you readers know I went through a really hard, nasty breakup a year ago this time. I was all the things I swore I'd never be. I was a fucking mess. I was pathetic. I have never cried so much in my entire life. I was a complete girl about things. I listened to Carol King's Tapestry non stop for 4 months. I spent several hours on the couch in my Shrink's office. Of course he went on vacation in the middle of it. I'm at DEF-CON 5 in my personal life and he goes to Nicaragua. I look back on those events and I'm completely disgusted with myself. I'm back to my normal self now. Whatever that may be.
2006 for all of it's suckiness (is that even a word?) was also a great year. One of my boys from work got engaged-big shout out to you Chrissy. Judge and Schott also got engaged. The Eyes and Sara are expecting their first child this May. Mr. and Mrs. Short Pants are also expecting their first child. I guess maybe all of these good things made me start to examine my own life and wonder if they will ever happen to me. I'm 33. Is that too young for a midlife crisis?
Time is the best remedy for a broken heart. So when 2007 kicked off I decided it was time to go out and see who's out there. I have met some very interesting ladies. Their ages spanned 28-38. They were all very different, but very similar. Three of the four were only children like myself. I wonder if they have rioting monkeys in their heads like I do? Let me to you something about me. I'm not really afraid of anything, but put me in a room with new people and I'm absolutely petrified. When I meet someone for the first time the monkeys riot and my whole MOJO is thrown off. Needless to say I don't make a good first impression or at least I don't think I do. I'm starting to wonder if maybe its me. I think living in NYC makes single women crazy. I'm beginning to go crazy. I think they worry about being alone in a city where there is so much solitude to begin with. I think for as much as they want commitment and to find a partner they are also terribly afraid to let their guard down and let someone get close. Don't get me wrong I have the same issues. The last thing I want is to get burned again by some tart.
Murray told me this morning on the phone when I was bitching that it takes time. I'm not the solution. I 'm part of the problem. I really don't know what to make of this whole thing. I know it is not easy, but I just want someone find someone to hang out with. I always thought hot girls were the answer. I always thought that if I was with a hot girl I would be happy. By hot I mean stunningly attractive. The kind of woman that when she walks into a room all eyes are on her. I was wrong. I was with a hot girl for 4 years and she was emotionally unavailable, empty, vain, selfish, and she broke my heart into a million little pieces. I have come to learn that "hot" can mean so many things. A smart woman is hot. A brave woman is hot. A vulnerable woman is hot. A loving woman is hot. I no longer think of hot as just being a person's physical appearance. Below are a list of my basic requirements. Readers get busy and find me someone new to hang out with.
Exile Grrl's Requirements:
- Sense of Humor
- Can Read
- Is not tone deaf
- Likes Animals and Children
- Has Her Own Life outside of Me
- Is not afraid of commitment
- Is open to the thought of having children one day
- Is emotionally available
- Can hold a conversation
I could go on but you get the general idea. I guess I want someone who just gets me for me. I'm just a cantankerous sports junkie who loves to laugh and loves her friends and family. I know she is out there I just have to get off my dead ass and go look for her, but first I have to go watch the pairings for March Madness.