I think I'm still hungover from Friday-really I'm not kidding. I was out late...way late on Friday. I got home at 4:30 AM. I usually only behave that way when I'm home and the Leinenkugels is flowing freely. Chicago is an easier city to go off the reservation in. NYC you never know one wrong turn and you are chopped up in garbage bags on the Belt Parkway.
Friday all started of calm and collected and quickly got out of hand. The plan was to go to NCAAs in Jersey with Remy catch his Hoyas and the Heels in action and go back to the city to meet Turbo. By meeting Turbo I mean have a beer or two with him and call it a night. It didn't work that way. Yes, we did go to the games and yes we did meet up with Turbo-it was after meeting up with him things got nutty.
Turbo has two sisters the good one and the bad one. One is older and one is younger. I find both of them to be hilarious. They are just like Turbo-it is all about having a beer and a good time. The good sister lives about 4 blocks from Turbo so we see her quite a bit. Remy and I return to NYC and meet up with Turbo and good sister at his favorite bar O'Hara's downtown. He is on a first name basis with all of the bartenders. Turbo literally lives around the corner from this place yet still manages to blackout on the way home. He's a real catch ladies you are missing out. The blackouts could come as a result of all the jager bombs he does. A jager bomb consists of a shot of jagermeister and red bull-real good for the old liver and ticker I'm sure.
By the time we reached Turbo and the good sister they were well on their way to a pretty decent black out. As soon as we got there jager bombs were flowing. Good sister wanted to sing karaoke specifically KC and The Sunshine Band and Remy being a good man knew exactly where to go- I was a little taken aback by the fact he was down with karaoke. I knew I liked him for a reason. We head to a full on Karaoke Bar just off of Canal and 6th avenue. This place rocks it is filled with mic toting Asians singing "White Wedding", "These Boots are Made for Walking", and my personal fav "Summer Lovin'". I love karaoke-it allows my inner rock star to come out and shine. Beer at this place was $6 for a bottle of Bud Lite-that is just robbery. So we proceed to get drunker as the night goes on. More beer, jager bombs, and the icing on the cake the singing of Ben E. King's "Stand By Me" with such drunken sloppiness Shane McGowan of the Pouges would have been proud. The night was not over after this.
Good sister was the tour guide of the night. After karaoke we went to Red Rock West. This place is scary. It is dark and filled with a bunch of rednecked fucks. I have been to this place with Turbo before, but never at 2 AM-it's a real eye full. Scantily clad women roaming around drinking cheap whiskey and dancing on top of the bar. Words can't even describe the men they associate with- it is somewhere between retard and asshole. Looking at these men I suddenly was happy I dated women. It's a toss up as to what the highlight of Red Rock West was. It was either when the burly bouncer set the bar on fire with grain alcohol and the slutty bartenders slid through it or when the slutty bartenders poured booze all over each other and licked it off one another and then poured it on Turbo and licked it off him. If you ask him he will say that was favorite. Good sister can't talk at this point and it is time to leave. Remy lives in the 'hood so he missed out on the cab ride downtown and the puke. Thats right we get in the cab and we are halfway downtown and good sister pukes in the cab. We drop them off at good sister's crib so Turbo can get her upstairs and I'm left to deal with an angry cab driver who has puke in his cab all the way back to Brooklyn. Who said an evening with Turbo and the good sister was no fun? If you are looking for a tour guide while in NYC I would be happy to give you their info and you can experience it all for yourself.
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