One of my biggest gripes with the holidays is with the morons who insist on putting Jesus out in their nativity scene before Christmas. Animals. I'm not the only one who finds this disturbing. WJMY is with me on this gripe. Baby Jesus being put out early is up there with his other favorite thing to bitch about, not being able to buy beer before NOON in Chicago. The man doesn't give a shit about anything, but those two issues work his last nerve.
One year WJMY decided to take matters into his own hands and educate the GODLESS FUCKS of Oak Park and River Forest. It had to be Christmas of '94. I was home from school and well he was still living with his folks, attending the local JUCO. It's a miracle he doesn't still live there. That particular Christmas WJMY removed all the Baby Jesuses he could lay his hands on. In all he collected about 50 of them in three hours. I tagged along for the ride just to see if he would really do it-he did. Plus, it was either drink Boone's Farm in Slurpies, smoke dope, and listen to him rant or wrap Christmas presents with the WARDEN-we all know the choice I made.
Collecting the goods wasn't the difficult part. The difficult part was what to do with them once we had them. Clearly they couldn't go back to my house. NO WAY THE WARDEN WOULD'VE SHIT A BRICK. WJMY made the executive decision to take them back to his house and put them in his closet. WJMY had a huge walk in closet with tons of shelves. In our somewhat altered state we thought it would be funny to pose the Jesuses in such a way that when you opened the door and stepped in they would be looking at you. Fast forward to the end of my winter break I'm sitting in his basement with him watching a bowl game, chillin' out, and listening to him whine about some girl. From three floors above we hear his mother yell "SWEET JESUS! JAMES WALTER YOU'RE GOING TO GO TO HELL FOR SURE NOW! WHERE DID YOU GET ALL OF THESE FROM?"-WJMY looks at me and simply says "Mission accomplished I always wanted to go to hell." It is by far one of my favorite Christmas memories. I called him yesterday to tell him that baby Jesus was out early in Brooklyn. All he said was "GODLESS FUCKS! You need to teach them a lesson and take matters into your own hands." True story story kids.
*FYI..www.catholicsupply.com has some good shit.
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The Clientele: God Save the Clientele
I love this record with its rich pop melodies and guitar feedback. Might be a little mellow for the kids today, but give it a listen on Sunday morning while having your coffee and reading the paper.The National: Boxer
These indie darlings are well worth a listen to.Ted Leo and the Pharmacists: Living With the Living
Hmmm...only way to describe it is Black Flag meets UB40.Ryan Adams: Easy Tiger
The alt-country king returns with something fantastic. This is one of my favorite records of 2007.Bob Dylan: Blood On the Tracks
I was cleaning out my CDs and forgot that I had this. I could listen to "Tangled Up in Blue" all day. I think this might be my favorite Dylan album.Tegan and Sara: The Con
Go get this record. Do not delay. Sleater Kinney I'm over you.Josh Rouse: Subtitulo
Humor me. Just go get it. Give a listen to "Given' It Up" and you will thank me.The Sea and Cake: Everybody
These guys are awesome. I can't decide who is dreamier Sam Prekop or Archer Prewitt. If you are looking for something to listen to this summer, this is it.Stephen Malkmus: Pig Lib
How can you not love the smart ass lead singer from Pavement? "Vanessa From Queens" is my favorite tune on this whole album. This album is filled with hypnotic melodies and sarcastic lyrics. Fans of Pavement will not be disappointed.Dinosaur Jr.: Beyond
J Mascis is back. If you are a fan of Green Mind you will love this record.Marvin Gaye: What's Going on
I love this record from start to finish. With lyrics about drug abuse, poverty, and the Vietnam War, this album was an immediate sensation and has endured as a classic of early-1970s soul. Get the remastered version released in 2002.Urge Overkill
Urge Overkill: Saturation
An awesome Chicago Band from the early 90's. I used to go see these guys all of the time at Metro, Empty Bottle, and Double Door. These guys played all over the city for a year straight. Check out "Sister Havana" and "Back on Me".The Shins: Wincing the Night Away
GO GET THIS NOW...The Shins will change your life!Josh Rouse: Nashville
Just simple dreamy lyrics- I love sensitive boy rock!!!! I put his songs on mix tapes for girls I am trying to woo.Cat Power: The Greatest
Some people think Chan Marshall is a mess- I find her dreamy. Go get this record listen to it, then listen to Dusty Springfield, and then finish the evening off with a good belt of whiskey. Call me in the morning and we'll talk.The Hold Steady: Boys & Girls of America
Paste rated this album #2 in their best of 2006. I gave them a listen off of that review and let me tell you they rock. What I dig most about them is the fact they sound like a drunken Springsteen. This album is loaded with a ton of heavy guitar riffs and lyrics you can't understand. RUN DON'T WALK to your nearest record store and pick this bad oscar up.
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Ben Mezrich: Ugly Americans: The True Story of the Ivy League Cowboys Who Raided the Asian Markets for Millions
And to think I thought I worked with scumbags. This is story of ExPat traders in the Asian markets during the 90s. These dudes were lawless.Witold Rybczynski: A Clearing In The Distance: Frederick Law Olmsted and America in the 19th Century
I just reread this book. It is amazing. For some reason I'm fascinated by landscape architecture. Olmsted is probably best known for desinging Central Park and Prospect Park. he also desinged the town of Riverside a suburb of Chicago. If you are dork like me about landscape architecture check this out.Chuck Klosterman: Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs: A Low Culture Manifesto
A sweet look at pop culture. It takes all the garbage that fills my little head (TV, rock music, books) and explores their relevance in todays culture. It is like a dumbed down cultural anthropology book-perfect for people like me. Not really sure if I agree with his idea that all women are in love with John Cusack or more specifically Lloyd Dobler.Rob Sheffield: Love Is a Mix Tape: Life and Loss, One Song at a Time
Rock geek meets Punker girl and they fall in love. This book chronicles their short time together through the series of mix tapes they made for one another. If you have ever mad a mix tape for someone you love, this is the book for you.Caleb Carr: The Alienist
One of my favorite mysteries set in New York. Carr does an amazing job of capturing old New York. I just recently re-read this book. I forgot how good it is. If you haven't already read it go pick it up you won't be disappointed. Teddy Roosevelt is the chief in this great book which is fiction, but kind of like a biography of old New York.Stefan Fatsis: Word Freak: Heartbreak, Triumph, Genius, and Obsession in the World of Competitive ScrabblePlayers
And I thought I was a freak when it came to Scrabble. This book made me laugh out loud. The people in this book are obsessed with this game and all that goes into it. If you like to play Scrabble check it out.Kyril Bonfiglioli: Don't Point that Thing at Me
A drunk art thief with a butler who used to be a wrestler and a bumbling detective who uses the the drunk to help him solve crimes. What more could I ask for? Oh yeah its British.Jhumpa Lahiri: The Namesake: A Novel
I loved this book. It was one of my favorite reads of 2006.Michelle Tea: Valencia
This book is like a train wreck-you can't take your eyes off of it. I found it disturbing and engaging all at the same time. She has no problem telling the reader that she has worked in the sex industry of the bay area, taken drugs, slept around, and traveled around the country via Grayhound. I saw her when I was in SF..I had so much to ask her, but I could not spit it out in time and she crossed the street before I could even say HI.Douglas Coupland: JPod
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