Questionable Rants and Raves

TURBO's view on Beowulf, possessed Pentecostals, and the Hawaiian Tropic Zone

I called TURBO yesterday to see if he wanted to go see Beowulf (Shut it- it looks cool and it's one of my favorite stories.) with me on Friday.  Here is how the conversation went.
Me: Dude, do you want to go see Beowulf on Friday?
TURBO: What?
Me:  You heard me.  Do you want to go see Beowulf on Friday?
TURBO:  The cartoon movie?
Me:  It's not a cartoon.
TURBO:  Yeah, it is.  It's a cartoon.  You want me to go on Friday?  I can't do that.  I'd be sittin' in my seat twitchin' like a possessed Pentecostal waiting to be saved by the snake charmer man.  It's Friday I need to be sitting in a bar drinking beer.  I can taste the sweet goodness already.
Me: Um OK.  What do you know about possessed Pentecostals?
TURBO:  I watch the Discovery channel and the GOD channel.
Me:  Really?  Does BIGE (TURBO's Dad) know about your viewing habits?  It's not a cartoon.  If Beowulf is a cartoon so is The 300 and I sat through that shit with you at the IMAX. If memory serves I paid for that outing.
TURBO:  This is MORE cartoonish.  I'll go to the Hawaiian Tropic Zone instead.  The bikini ladies are gonna be there.  We could get an eye full.  Hey, you didn't pay for everything-I bought you a soda.
Me:  You're such a hero. 
TURBO:  And a gentleman.  What about the Zone?
Me: B-L-O-W M-E
TURBO:  I'll take that as a yes.  What time?
At that point I hung up the phone.  All I can say is TURBO is complex man/child. 

Brotherhood and the Kinks

I went to go see The Darjeeling Limited it was fantastic.  I've always been a big fan of Wes Anderson movies.  What I love about Anderson is how he continues to examine damaged lives with whimsy, humor and bittersweet compassion.  Francis, Peter, and Jack Whitman might be his most damaged characters yet.  Francis the controlling oldest, Peter the middle brother searching for purpose, and Jack the sullen, disinterested youngest. 
The estranged brothers are reunited a year after their father's death for a trip across India to find "spiritual enlightenment" on The Darjeeling Limited an oddly colorful train.  The trip is organized by the Francis.  He  wants them to reconnect and become brothers again.  For the trip he has brought along an assistant to provide laminated spiritual itiniaries for the the trip.  This act might be the funniest part of the whole movie.  The other two comply and even though they haven't seen each other for a year they quickly fall into old habits, behaviors and dialogue when they reunite.  Calling one another "indian givers"-priceless.  Being in a family is a lot like riding bike — you never forget how what to do it and that includes how to irritate each other to the fullest.  Francis orders all of their food, Peter insists he was their father's favorite, and Jack just wants to spy on an old girlfriend via her answering machine.  The one thing they all have in common with one another is a fear of becoming sick in India-this makes for some hilarious scenes.  It is only after their train becomes "lost" and they are kicked off for letting a poisonous snake out, fighting, and macing each other do they reconnect.  The end of the movie finds them shedding baggage both figuratively and literally. 
Anderson once again also does an amazing job incorporating the beautiful scenery of India with the wackiness of the Whitman brothers.  Some of the shots of them going through the little towns are stunning.  When Peter buys the snake and carries it around in a wooden box with a skull and crossbones on it I couldn't control myself.  Who does that?  The train is almost like a cartoon.  It's colors are so vivid and the fellow passengers are also like cartoons.  Like The Royal Tennanbaums the background and supporting characters are key to making the movie great.  The soundtrack is great score by Bengali film maker Satyajit Ray and other artists from Indian cinema.  Anderson used three songs from my favorite Kinks album-1970s Lola Versus the Powerman & the Moneygoround, Part 1.  "This Time Tomorrow", " Strangers", and "Powerman" have never been used better.  Go see this movie. 
*I don't have any siblings, but I loved this movie.  If you have siblings go see The Darjeeling Limited with them.  I think that by the end of the movie  you will remember why you both love and hate them.  You also might learn a little something about yourself.
*I will add the Kinks songs so you know what I'm talking about.

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Ratatouille

Believe it or not there are a couple of things the WARDEN and I actually like to do together.  One of them is going to the movies.  We went to go see Ratatouille and it was FANTASTIC.
How can you not like the story of a rat who just wants to be a chef in Paris?  Forget Transformers- this is much better.  I urge you to go see this.  Patton Oswalt is great as the voice of Remy.  Peter O'Toole is even better as the sinister food critic Anton Ego.  Not to be a complete dork, but the animation is amazing-his little hands are so life like.

Shrek the Third

I'm sooooo excited for this.

Sarah Silverman: My Hero

I have one question to ask you readers:
WHY ISN'T SARAH SILVERMAN ON TV MORE?
I spent the better half of today watching the IFC Independent Spirit Awards (look here to see the winners and losers) in which Ms. Silverman was the host. I love her. She has absolutely no filter-she says the things that I only think in my little head. SHE NEEDS TO BE ON TV MORE. KIDS COULD LEARN FROM HER. Now I say the better half of the day because I didn't get out of bed until 12:30 (thanks Miz B. for keeping me up past my bed time!) and I had to go buy kibble for the beasts in the house or they were going to riot. By the time I was done doing their bidding I realized that I had in fact TVO'd the Spirit Awards. I can't stomach the Oscars- not to worry I will watch if only so that I have something to rant about. The Spirit Awards are for more my type of movies-sick, twisted, and filled with people who are flawed. Not that my opinion matters, but I was pleased with the winners. If you have the IFC channel and they rerun the show check it out and then go check out some of the flicks they are sweet.

Exile Grrl's Favorite Flicks of 2006:
1. The Departed: Who doesn't love a good gangsta flick? Scorsese's stab at Irish in the South Boston. Plus it opens up with "Gimme Shelter"-rock on!
2. The Queen: Helen Mirren is amazing as Queen Elizabeth II. She paints a very real portrait of a woman who is struggling with how to uphold the face of the monarch in a time of tragedy while at the same time dealing with her own grief.
3. Brick: The Maltese Falcon meets Breakfast Club. A modern day detective story set in a high school. Lucas Haas as "The Pin" one of the most memorable bad guys to hit the screen in a long time. Who knew that there was an crime underworld in high school.
4. Thank you for Smoking: Made me want to work for big tobacco.
5. Half Nelson: A cracked out junior high school teacher becomes friends with a student when she finds out about his problem. Ryan Gosling and Shareeka Epps are amazing. And to think I made fun of Gosling for making The Notebook-that sucked.
6. The Last Kiss: Zach Braff has a midlife crisis when he turns 30- I think I had one of those too. The soundtrack is amazing.
7. Casino Royale: I'm a Bond dork. I can't help it. The story is somewhat contrived, but Daniel Craig makes one hell of a Bond.
8. Friends With Money: Finally a movie with four women as the main characters. Nicole Holofcener made this little gem. She also made Lovely and Amazing. Francis McDormand is great. If you loved her in Laural Canyon you will love her in this.
9. Volver: Pedro Almodóvar makes some of the most thought provoking movies I have ever seen. If only American cinema could be this good. Penélope Cruz is stunning as the main character.
10. Little Miss Sunshine: I will never listen to Rick James the same ever again.

This is only a small smattering of the movies I saw in 2006 and they are not in order of favorites. If you get a chance check them out and let me know what you think.

Note to Readers: I will try to keep my Oscar rant under control tomorrow. I don't think it will be as brutal as the Grammy's, but you never know.

RENO 911: Miami.....The day has finally come

Today is the day people RENO 911 hits the big screen.  I am a big fan of the TV show on Comedy Central-it is so disturbingly wrong.  If you are twisted like I am you should tune in.  I am a little annoyed that the NY POST and The Daily News only gave it 2 stars, but they gave The Astronaut Farmer 3 stars.  How can you give a movie with Billy Bob Thorton about a dude who builds a rocket in his barn 3 stars?  The only good movie that Billy Bob ever made was Bad Santa-my man Turbo's favorite movie.  OK, I will throw Sling Blade in there. 

I mean seriously the world is going to shit.  Britney is flipping out and K-FED actually looks like a mature adult.  David Geffen has stopped being friends with Bill and Hillary.  There is fighting within the Democratic party (that is really no big surprise to me).  The Yankees won't give Bernie Williams a contract and the Cubs have actually spent some money.  But what really gets my goat is the fact that a movie about a dude who builds a rocket in his barn gets a better review than a movie whose main character is a gay cop who wears short shorts and has an amazing flavor saver.  The world is going to shit. On that note I think I might just leave and go see Reno 911: Miami because I know that it is going to be a piece of cinematic genius.